Relief
by speechless97
Summary: The only thing he felt as clear as day were cold hands prying him away from Emily. "No!", he heard himself shout out as he clung to her limp body with all the strength he had left. Last in the 'Monster' series. Review please?


**[Here you go, the last in the series unless I do an epilogue, not sure about that yet. But anyways, enjoy, I hope it lived up to your guys' expectations]**

"_A thought, even a possibility, can shatter and transform us." _-Friedrich Nietzsche 

There seemed to be noise everywhere. People screaming, shouting, ordering. He saw faces of his team, of that he was sure, but the rest was a blur. It felt like a dream; hazy and distant, like he wasn't really there at all. The only thing he felt as clear as day were cold hands prying him away from Emily. "No!", he heard himself shout out as he clung to her seemingly lifeless body with all the strength he had left. But it wasn't enough. The last thing he remembers before passing out was her being taken away, and he was sure that image would stay with him forever.

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He was up and out of bed as soon as he opened his eyes. Ignoring the pain in his abdomen, he just managed to stumble across his room.

This pain was nothing; nothing compared to not knowing.

Not knowing if she was okay, if she was even ALIVE.

Not knowing if he'd done enough.

He turned around, hearing the click of heels on the linoleum floor.

Mostly because of some foolish hope that it was her. That it'd all been a dream; a terrible nightmare, and that she'd walk up to him, smiling, make a joke, and go to get coffee.

But it wasn't a dream, because it wasn't Emily, but JJ coming up to him, and the emotion on her face was worry, not happiness.

"Derek, you shouldn't be out of bed.", she said, her voice soft, but she made no move towards him. He appreciated that. She knew he wasn't going to go back. Not before he saw her.

"Emily?"

That was the one word he could utter out.

Morgan didn't cry, he didn't break down. But right at that moment, he felt as if he said more, he would.

This was enough to break the seemingly un-breakable Derek Morgan. She was enough.

"She'll be alright."

Relief flooded his body as he let out a breath he didn't even know he'd been holding. Those three words brought him more relief than anything had ever brought him in his life.

She was okay, that was all that mattered.

"Eventually.", JJ added.

"What room JJ?", he asked then, knowing she would know what he meant.

He had to go see her, see that she was okay with his own eyes.

JJ didn't protest, just pointing to the door across from where they were standing.

"Thank you.", he said, those words meaning more than you could imagine.

It wasn't just a thank you for telling him the truth. It was for saving them, for saving her, because he hadn't been able to. It was for understanding. It was for being there.

She just smiled as he walked over to the heavy wooden door, pushing it open with fear.

Fear about what he might see on the other side. Yeah, she was alright. But alright wasn't good.

There was damage, there had to be.

He just wasn't quite prepared for how much.

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She would've looked peaceful if it wasn't for the bruises. The blue and purple patches that seemed to be covering her face, a painful reminder of his failure.

He was sure there was more damage, under the covers, but the bruises hit him the hardest. Maybe it was because they were the only things he could see; maybe because they were so ugly they didn't belong there, on her beautiful face.

He wasn't sure how long he'd been siting there, watching her sleep, focusing on her breathing, feeling the warmth of her hand against his.

He was sure he would need hundreds of moments like this to ever forget how she looked in that basement; breaths shallow, body shaking, skin getting colder every minute.

He'd need a lot of images of her breathing, living, warm to ever rewrite that one in his memory. That is, if he's ever lucky enough to forget it.

The nurses had come in four times, each time telling him he should go back to his room. But he didn't budge.

He wouldn't leave her now. He wasn't sure he'd ever be able to again.

So he just held on to her hand like a lifeline, watching her chest rise and fall, trying to ignore the blues and purples covering her face, that were getting worse by the minute.

He tried not to think about what happened, tried not to replay it in his mind. But he couldn't avoid it.

Especially because of something he remembered. He tried to convince himself it was just him being delusional; he was in a lot of pain and had had no sleep. He tried to convince himself it was something he'd dreamed while under.

But he knew he'd heard her say it. That she loved him.

She said it with the last drops of effort she had. She'd meant for that to be her last words, he realized.

Emily Prentiss had said she loved him.

He unwillingly chuckled to himself. It seemed like that would only happen in a dream, it seemed too bizarre for real life.

But it'd happened. And he found himself not minding the slightest bit.

Because sitting there, he realized he loved her too. Of course, he'd said it to her already. But it was just something he'd needed to get off his chest, knowing that might be the last time he ever saw her.

But hearing her say it, knowing that she felt the same, it made him realize that he really, truly meant it.

He was in love.

So he just sat, contently looking at her, until her eyes started to open, and her hand gripped his.

But as he saw her dark eyes meet his, relief on her face, he smiled, a big, genuine smile.

And then his lips slowly met hers, because he didn't know how to say what he was feeling, and this seemed like the only way to convey it. The overwhelming relief, the guilt, the pain, the love; all pent up into one incredible kiss. Because he couldn't find the words; 'I'm sorry's and 'I love you's just didn't seem to be enough.

And besides, Derek Morgan had always been more of a hands-on guy.

"_Love is not consolation. It is light." _-Friedrich Nietzsche

**[Kind of a weird ending, I know. What do you think? I love reviews C:]**


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